this, the above things, are my unspoken words for you. yes you. a you that i've spend much of my blog post for. a you that cause a whole new world for me. for my heart. for the view that im seeing through this eyes. towards love. yes love. thousand times would i like to shout it out. about love.
before, i made a dua. to understand what loves is. you know, my life previously, was only me. everything was only me. from the main character. to the last worker. it was me. theres none others in my dictionary. dont ask me why. because i wouldnt want to blame my past history pages that i drew back days. still, those are the chapters that shape me towards who i am today.
still. alhamdulillah. i say the dua. i ask Allah, to find me a friend. a lifepartner. you know how silly a girl can be. that was what being portrayed in the life common life scenario. source of human love. its just family, and a life partner. and thats the day i was hoping for that. i was saying that in my dua. and you know what.He never appear. i found of many people in the middle. i thought it was you. i even wrote a diary, to share all the experience.. i was walking all the way. and i notice none. no boys. or gentleman ever made me understand hat loves is. because the love that i was searching for is different. maybe also because of time. that it still didnt suits me and my age.maturity.
but i still need to know what loves is. what it is to care for someone. what it is to sacrifice. im tired of me being me every single things. im ready to give. but none i found, that makes me to give all hearted. because it didnt came with love.can i say that?
the other side, you was saying the same prayers. u were hoping .. to go through all the sadness and dark. a hug. a hand. a smile. someone to mend the broken pieces. and those faith u put in Allah. about the dua. how can i know this? the letter that u wrote.
and i think Allah grant us in the very best way. it happen last semester. do you remember?
it was exam. and i was so empty. frustrated. and suddenly. it was just a sudden. i dont know from where. the momment i saw. i feel. and it knocked my heart. i will never able to explain it even to you. how much i care and love you. all of sudden.
never in my life.thinking about someone first more than myself. more than my studies which is everything before. never in my life. to hug and saying those things sincerely. never in my life to cry and care so much about a person. but it all change for you. did you saw that? i dont know what happen to me. it just that i wanna give you everything that i have eventhough it means that i will loose something in my life. nothing more precious than having a friend like you. did you realise it? tak pernah begitu tersiksa hidup seperti merindui anda sewaktu anda terlalu jauh dari saya. perhaps you never notice it at first because u did mention it to me. but i was the one who start to realise it. im the one who being touchered. everyday. sehingga sampai satu hari, i just wanna take you out from my life. sbb penangan the word love is so great that somethimes you justs didnt think about yourself even a minute. subhanallah. Allah, i know this is love. this is the love that i was hoping and praying for. the feel that i want to experience. and to understand it. indeed i do. it wasnt from a guy. its from a friend, girl. sebab Allah tahu dan maha kuasa. i wouldn't have the strength if it wasnt her.
ana tak tahu nak cakap mcm mana. but i care for you so much. whenever i say ...as always. it really mean. i hope this will not scared you. i know sometimes it sound as if im someone obsessed. but im not. it just that im happy to be with you. i keep on asking Allah, why of all people. it was you. we didnt share the common things. he didnt even put us in the same boat. sakit sangat anti. but insyaAllah mesti ada hikmah. im just hoping that you will let me care for you. to love. i just want you to know that whenever ur feel low, im here all the time. to listen and help. im happy when u want to share. talk. because it means that i can give.
ana berani ckp. ana tak pernah mintak it was you. i just randomly pray. and i dont know why it was you. when u said ur about to hilang. i was os sad. because it mean that i need to stop from giving. but i know theres still a duty for you. that ill keep on . thanks so much for letting me in. to mend something inside. eenthough i didnt solve it. at least you know that ur not alon. that good enough.
till today, i believe, Allah is answering the prayer for both of us. because we meet before. we talked before. but both of us were in different world. i never care or thought bout you. u were never in the list. just as a passerby.
so short of time so limited of second. soon, we will really be leaving each other. of me in here. of you out there. i dont now how the day will come. i hpe this last momment that we have. at least, we can both make the best pictures together. that soon, it will remain forever. because im afraid, this feeling that Allah gave,,,sementara cuma. ada hari tarikh, it will vanish. the day that we will be like before. but both of us did get what we want. the lesson. the moment. perfect
till we meet again.
\
No comments:
Post a Comment