Saturday 17 May 2014

:)

i know that i always have no specific title for my entry
but i always approach it with a feeling. a surrounding and ambiance

how it flies, ended my second year exams just yesterday
so i hope i wont see and bit of second year in my following third
this time, i didnt do it in typical 'sakinah's' style. all the meng'gua', not to talk much, depression, zero pleasant sleep bla..bla..
just because, kak suha (my neighbour) wasnt there during my exams week, since she got a husband to serve) serve? is that the word? ok excuse me if it wasnt.

so i decided to sleep over rifa' for just a day on disability paper. maybe because i thought there's not so much things to risk for. the first night was of course uneasy for me, especially with the new surrounding and having someone very near to you while studying. owh, i always have the mumbling moment. that's how i keeps things in mind. (this fact makes me hates library). but diba said i was fine. but of course i dont. people wont shout at you if they hate it. right? so im trying to be considerate. but seriously, i sang, shout, laugh..and it rarely mater to diba, unless i started to include her. end up, i manage to stay in rifa' for the whole first exam week.  i'll never forget how we tried to stay awake on oncology paper. soooooo many lecture notes with soooo many unable-to-memorize the name and fact. they look just the same! those coffee and unnecessary talk and songs. thanks diba anyway

the following weeks, i started in hurairah's. kak ct have this wideee extra osem mind map on genetics. so i decided to stay just ONE night for me to memorize and understand the mind map. and you know what, leaving hurairah's behind was never a cup of tea for me. till today, im still here. its almost 6 days already/ i knoww, its not appropriate to be in someones house more than 3 days. but i just cant help it. they are seriously more like a family to me. even if i need to sleep in the sleeping bag in the kitchen, im on it! just that i can be among them. ireland wouldnt be easy without them. i was suppose to leave hurairah today, but naah, they always did the act "nak balik dah?". and i stayed :(
i hate myself because of this

so thats how i lead my exam week life. seriously, i felt a kind of feeling that i'd never experienced in the past exams.is it because i started to define my self? or those study group? but i belief, Allah is showing me some ways. sometimes, your effort, they don't play any single role to your understanding. you just the same. but, could feel, how Allah is planning a better way, showing you a better way out. its like you have him all the time, talking to you do this, see this, dont do that stuff. ifyouknowhatimean.

next post, all the gratitude. i really dont wanna miss this moment later on. all those amazing people. for now i need to have a 'talk' with someone.:)