Saturday 28 January 2012

my love one

jumaat lepas Alhamdulillah, i could say mcm rezeki turun dari langit. ade jamuan. banyak sangat masyaAllah. ntah ape yang buat rasa tergerak nak bawak my so called tupperware. biaselahkan, kaum wanita ni makan tak lah banyak. so mcm ade oppourtunity kat situ. woot  woot..woot

that petang we got riadah together. so, pulunlah segala tapau tadi. seems a lot but alhamdulillah habis!


dh macam baru balik shopping dh gayanye. 


love seeing them happy

ni je yang sempat tapau bawak balik from saba'

khatulistiwa rasa

dear someone,
erm..macammana ye nak cakap. thank you cant even describe the event. anyhow thats the only carve that i can drew for you. its being a very tiring and stress-full week for me..us. even im getting better in keeping it low. i don't know if u could notice it. 
 having u in my life its like Allah had lend me another hand to wipe my tears, another leg to keep me still
 another spirit to keep me go. 
 thank you so much
insyaAllah, we'll always walk together


p/s: siapa kata hidup tanpa tanpa kaum adam, tidak mampu mengajarmu erti cinta dan sayang. kalian yang menyempitkan konsep itu. buka mata. terlalu banyak hawa untuk disayangi!

 


:)
(:

terlalu banyak yang Allah beri pada kita. tetapi tarlalu sedikit kita bersyukur. saya teringat sebuah kisah tentang seorang ibu, pemuda dan saudagar. saling tak tumpah seperti mana aku kamu dan mungkin mereka. Allah yang telah sedang dan akan berada dengan kita setiap masa minit dan saat. sungguh x pernah rasa kebaikkan dan penyayangnye Allah. tapi bila seseorang manusia yang entah dari mana memberi sesuatu manfaat kepada kita...cepat sungguh jiwa ini berterima kasih.
lumrah manusia!

buat kekasih yang sering dilupakan,
kasihmu tidak pernah berhenti walau sesaat
pandanganmu tidak pernah terlepas walau sedetik
saat hati merintih rayu, kau terlalu jelas
namun saat gembira, engkau tidak terkesan jejaknya
walau aku akui, aku yang meletakannya
kau tetap di situ

kekasih,
ada masa aku rasakan kesunyian lapangan itu
namun ku ragut rasa itu dengan mengisi yang bukan2
berlari dengan kaki harapan
sedangkan aku tahu, tiada pergantungan selain padamu
berjalanlah ke mana, disitu engkau

sungguh unik perasaan ini, tidak semudah menyintai seorang adam
cinta ini setulusnya berlandas ksetiaan seorang hamba
Ya Allah,
kami selalu lupa, namun meminta seluas langit
doa kami dihiasi impian dunia, sedangkan Kitabmu penuh hikayat hari kemudian
saat yang tiada henti dan berpenghujung
tetap kami minta  lingkungan galaksi masa
sungguh kami jahil.







Wednesday 25 January 2012

kita hanya kita

mengetahui anda dikongsi
ibarat kertas ditangan tetapi pena melayang
setiap lukisan itu bukan lagi cerminan kendiri
menari tanpa jiwa

ingin sekali kuhancurkan cermin itu
biar kita bebas berdansa hingga ke pagi
tiada rentak mereka
hanya kita dalam lirik hati
kita sebagai penggubah
kita juga penyanyi
dalam pentas ini
kita berkongsi setiap bait rasa
tanpa perlu mengerlip semalam
yang ada hanya harapan dan impian esok

rampas semula pena 
pakai kaca mata realiti
berselubung keyakinan
berdepan harapan

...here we are


anyone would like to lend me his/hers wing?

TOK mood please.

what else i can beg for more. please dear mood, why cant we be good friends. where were you all this time. u make my life miserable. hardly to pace myself without you by my side. phewwww. ayat...

makan je tak habis2
satu habuk x siap

Friday 20 January 2012

i did it again :(

i'swear i'll never do it again
and...

yesterday i did it again.
and the worst part is, it was on Friday
the day that i will struggle with my Al-kahfi and selawat
but yet, i did it

 how i can forgot all the promise that i've made once i step into 20.ok i know i haven't but this is the year. my, i dont know what feeling should i put in. i started to hate my self. dh ntah berape kali set such promise. then masa tgh duduk di satu penjuru dunia, the inner voice in me said, never give up!"Rahmat Allah tu kan luas.kadang2 aku rasa sangat1000x berdosa sampai nak mintak any doa from Allah pown malu. ntah apa lah aku pada pandanganNya. i'll fell more dejected whenever i see any islamic scholar. its like " duh!,,,theres much more people in this world that obey Allah with all their heart. putting you aside is not a problem.

Allah,,dia je tahu betapa hancurnye hati when someone said that to me. i never been to any love with anyone. not in term of 2 ways of love. you get me?!.. so i wouldnt have  know what love is. is to love Allah is different?.

someone said something about love for Rasulullah. he said that it very hard but he respect him anyway. and i get so emotional then. duhh, so typical of me.

i would like to sign any agreement of duty. to keep promise between my self of not committing any of it anymore but until when??..

i always hope for the best companion that able to help me searching for Allah in every minute in my one and only life chance. a friend that would help me in picturing Allah every second. to make DEEN as a reality and not a pull story fantasy.
A friend 
a companion 
a lifetime roommate 
a husband

but if i continued this way, how can i hope for one?

Sunday 15 January 2012

Andrew


do you remember this one?
i'll keep it
even i know how much u hate  it

subconsciously

subconsciously, i went to the other stairs not the usual one. my head was spinning thinking about andrew. and miss jane was begging me to visit her house again. cant they understand? Andrew would'nt want me anymore.so what the point of going there. even to talk what more to touch. sigh. and this bestie Alex, couldnt stop saying that im totally wrong. ok i admit that both of us spend almost 2 month working on the solution. suprisingly even professor Murray approve on it. but the patient itself had stop!.so what else i can do.so this evening since jane called me. i might put a night there explaining to her all my last prescription and the therapy stuff that Andrew need to undergo without me. without me...
its very hard to let him alone when most of my evening was filled with memories of him. i hardly recalled any evening without him. i don't know to whom should i pity for. me for not completing my last observation or him for loosing me and his treatment. i would'nt say much. that's what i promise. to whom?

Andrew, at least listen

Saturday 14 January 2012

SAF

just came back from SAF.i was thinking what SAF is. rupenye short form untuk student akan fly.heh. its very nice and get to met my other family. (not in-law lar..ayo). and its a really good outing for all my siblings. lame rasenye tak sleep over with all of them. most of them dh ad bilik sendiri. its just me and fatemah with roomates. will update later about the content insyaAllah

mari melihat dengan kaca mata baru


Tuesday 10 January 2012

what to expect?

nothing particular 
anyhow, wish u guys a happy new start :)

(till the end the last carve do mean something.and i mean it)