i stepped on my own leg.

if Cinderella forgot her shoes

 i forgot my words

if Cinderella have a prince that search her by the shoes

i have Allah that teach me my forgotten words

during our last usrah, i was assigned to discuss the second topic of Muntalaq. its kinda a motivation to the rijal or the people who are eager caring da'wa that theres always chance and hope to see Islam achieve its glory years. there's one spot in the text where i was discussing bout faith for Allah to be specific faith in everything that Allah had decided and choose for us based on our afford and willingness.

we always said that we want this and that and we strive for it. we want john or mark to embrace islam. we worked so hard but yet Allah didn't choose them for that precious hidaya.
then we felt so down as if we didn't even done anything for them. we felt tired and feed up.
we give up.

 are we allowed for that? are we the grantor of Allah's hidaya?.

 i said it repetitively to convince my usrah-mates that we can only hope and work for the best but the rest is in Allah's hand. i took the philosophy subject as an example when they criticize  God and the here-after. how its that possible when they never saw hell or heaven even God, but they are making so many claims about it with so many theory that i never have time to understand it deeper.

 its like when you are about to take your IB exam or SPM,PMR name it, you have this so many thought and perception about it. but once you're out of the hall , most of us have different thought in mind just because we have undergo such experience. then you start to tutor you junior about it. just the same.to make it simple.

look, its about how you put the highest faith in the one and only. the one who created the hell, the heaven, the spirit, the messenger, universe and you..

who?

Allah The Almighty

how confidence i am that time.

 and today, when my results was out. i completely forgot every single thing. i was to busy with my sadness and despair.

 then i came to thought that, who give me this? who allowed me to get such grade when i've worked so hard? to whom did i said my tawakkal? what is tawakkal?

Ya Allah i truly forgot about you. i'm lost because of my obsession of myself. i thought im the one creating the universe. im the one controlling the human. im the one controling myself. O Allah.

dearest brothers and sisters,
look and think. i stepped on my own leg.